


Everything I love is out to sea

by notcooljimmysteve



Category: Shameless - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, Really terrible sorry, first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 06:05:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3757243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcooljimmysteve/pseuds/notcooljimmysteve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything I love is out to sea

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first thing I have written for this website and I think I just have a lot of emotions

He doesn't die. 

Sammi has terrible fucking aim. A bullet ricochets off his arm and he can feel the sting but he doesn't register it. It's like a numb pain, you know the kind where you'll get a paper cut and don't realise and keep scratching at it as if it's an itch but in the end it isn't and it really fucking stings. 

He doesn't die but he wishes he does. Ian is gone. They've been through so much and it wasn't worth it, none of it was, and now they're done. Just like that. 

Mickey should be angry but instead he's left with a feeling in the pit of his stomach, heavy and unmovable. 

As he gets Iggy to stitch up his wound he thinks about Mandy, trapped with her dick boyfriend and wonders why he hadn't tried to stop her, hadn't done anything. 

He thinks the most depressing thing is that it isn't his biggest regret. He's had worse. 

She's gone, Mandy's gone and he kicked Svetlana out along with his son. 

Terry's in jail, thank fuck and his mom is dead. 

"Luck of the Milkoviches" His dad remarked about getting busted for dealing coke again, on one of the very rare occasions Mickey would go see him in jail. 

He misses Yev. He misses having something to look after, misses having another human be so dependent on him. He misses being needed. 

He even misses Svetlana, misses her noise and weird smelling Russian cooking, her presence filling the house like her knock off perfume. 

He misses Ian. He misses the smell of his unwashed hair, his tight tshirts, his eyelid crinkling, smirky kind of smile. He misses being loved, if he ever was. Ian probably loved him, at one point, he hopes, but Mickey probably never noticed. 

Ian is number one on Mickeys list of biggest regrets. 

He doesn't die but maybe he does.


End file.
